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My OB’s Misdiagnosis Changed Me as a Mother

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My OB’s Misdiagnosis Changed Me as a Mother My OB’s Misdiagnosis Changed Me as a Mother

My OB’s Misdiagnosis Changed Me as a Mother






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I tried to hide it from my mom when she asked how my first OB appointment went. I tried to say they needed to do some more tests because there was some extra fluid. I tried to lie.
She knew.
Why me" I was embarrassed. I didn?t feel blessed to be having a baby. I felt completely alone, even though I was surrounded by people checking on me, family members driving me to my doctor?s appointments, and a partner trying to support me even though I pushed him away.
The way my OB handled my first pregnancy altered my entire pregnancy, along with the first several months of my son?s life. It changed the way I would have loved my now ex-partner and father of my children.
At my 12 week pregnancy appointment, my partner and I went to the doctor thinking it was going to be sort of exciting. My OB came in and said, ?Your baby has some extra fluid around his neck, which indicates he likely will have a chromosomal abnormality like Down syndrome.?
I just stared at her ? fixating on her face, so I didn?t have to fixate on her words. I was angry, asking what I did to deserve this. I silently hoped for a miscarriage.
?You two are a young couple and I encourage you to think about your options. In the meantime, I am setting up an appointment for you with the high risk specialists.?
I knew my baby boy was going to suffer from this experience ? from having a frightened mother who did not want him and wished he wasn?t mine.Share QuoteFacebookPinterest
I never imagined how that moment would define my whole life. How I would not bond at birth with my perfectly healthy son, or how I would punish my partner because I felt so angry and alone. I couldn?t hide from myself, but I could hide from him. And I did. I didn?t want to resent my own baby, so I resented him instead.
I went to my specialist appointment where they explained the high possibility of false positives with the testing available. I know 2009 doesn?t seem like long ago, but this was testing for the probability of chromosomal abnormalities. The only way to get accurate results was through an invasive procedure, such as a CVS or amniocentesis, which carried a risk of miscarriage. The amount of false positives with their current method of testing was tremendous. Did my OB explain this to me" No, she did not. But the specialist did.
Unfortunately, it was too late. It didn?t matter that I had a two hour ultrasound of my baby’s heart and face that didn’t show markers for Down syndrome; I didn?t believe them. I had a cruise planned before I got pregnant and decided to go. The entire trip was plagued by impending blood test results that told me nothing, even though I thought they’d tell me everything.
I was not yet 21 years old, but I bought a drink in Mexico. I only took a few sips, but I drank while pregnant because why not" What could a few sips possibly do at this point" That is really shameful to admit, but it was how I felt at the time.
When I gave bir...
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My OB’s Misdiagnosis Changed Me as a Mother My OB’s Misdiagnosis Changed Me as a Mother

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Source of news: babble-pregnancy
Source of publication: 08-05-2017 22:00
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